A Lethal Addiction

I wanted to discuss with you all a very serious matter. This is an addiction that is spreading all across the world, especially in teens, but noted to be spread throughout all age groups. I cannot stress how important this issue is, but it is soon to reach a Pandemic state of alarm.

This dependent disorder does not yet have a name, quite possibly because it is too terrifying to be stopped. There may come a point where we, as goodhearted citizens and human beings, may have to just embrace it, and hope for the best.

I will refer to these poor infected individuals as "YA Bookaholics", a term that they will throw around as if their dysfunction is something to be proud of.

I would like to tell you more about this serious addiction and what can be done about it.

What causes one to be a "YA Bookaholic"?
Studies have shown that the only way to completely contract this disorder is use of a inexpensive and currently legal drug known as "Young Adult Fiction" or "YA". However, the ideas can be spread between people, creating a pressure to purchase and "read" this drug.

What are the symptoms of being a "YA Bookaholic"?
This is a tough question to answer, as everyone reacts differently. However, there are many common and repeated symptoms that include, but are not limited to:

• Constant purchases of the "YA" drug.
• General need to go to a place that sells books. Quite possible they receive them black-market or in the highly dangerous "read-to-review" pro-addict program.
• Hiding the use of the drug. (Ex: keeping books in bags away from view. Using e-books so it appears they are on a computer or a phone when they really are participating in this activity.)
• Inability to control emotions. (Lots of hysterical crying and anger, usually over a fictional character.)
• Violent or rebellious tenancies.
• Possible homicidal behavior. (Usually in writing, but we have only researched the beginning stages.)
• False sense of reality.
• Loss of interest in other activities.
• Lack of "social life" or "living friends"
• Hermit behavior
• Uses words like "fanfiction" and "shipping"
• Disinterest in "real-life"
• Large consumption of caffeinated beverages.  

What are the Long-Term Effects of This Addiction?
There are many negative effects that this addiction can cause. Some may include:

• Money loss. All money, even if saved for other things, goes to be spent on this drug
• Increased levels of procrastination
• Insanity
• Increased time spent in house, esp. bedroom.
• More insanity.
• Increased level of knowledge
• Ability to live multiple lives and live them without limits. (Does this sound multiple personalities to you too? See insanity.) 

What should I do if myself or a loved one has become a "YA Bookaholic"?
Unfortunately, there is not any known cures, and it is almost unheard of for an infected individual to find a out themselves. No support groups or rehabilitation centers are currently available. However, we have included some testimonials, so you can know that you are not alone.

"I fear that my teenage daughter is becoming a YA Bookaholic...I'm...I'm sorry, but this is difficult to talk about. She is spending all of her money on these novels, and spending an obscene amount of time in her room. I try to get her interested in normal things, like clothes and boys, but she responds by saying "I would buy a new dress, but the final book to this trilogy I follow is coming out next week!" and "All the perfect guys are fictional anyway." I am afraid for her mental health, and I don't know what to do. Yesterday, I saw her crying her eyes out, a book in her hand, and the other day she was yelling at the pages, as if the characters were real!"

We also have obtained a small quote from Justine W., a sixteen year old girl who is highly addicted, even having started a "book blog" in which she refers to herself as "the YA Lit Chick". This may be too disturbing for some readers to view, and discretion is advised.

"I am not seeing what the big deal is? Yeah, I like to read Young Adult Fiction. So, what? Reading is a great thing! It allows you to escape reality, go on impossible adventures, learn new things! Okay, maybe I spend a lot of money on it...but is that really something bad if I enjoy doing it? It is a great way to meet other people and spend time! Don't you guys ever use your imagination? I mean, come on! You are treating this like it is some kind of problem like alcoholism or...wait...where did you go? Why are you spraying me with Lysol?!"

As you can see, there are already members of today's Youth that are far beyond the point of sanity and recovery. The media's devotion to this "YA" drug with movie adaptations creates even more issue.

We advise you to stop the madness, or you can end up broke, lonely, emotionally unstable and violent like that poor soul above.

Godspeed, my friends.


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